10 Weight Loss Stories To Make You Laugh
1. No More Meat: Weight Loss Stories
Our Bible teacher asked a woman to read from the Book of Numbers, which describes the Israelites’ wandering in the desert. “When you cried out, ‘If only we had meat to eat!’ the Lord heard you!” she began. “Now the Lord will provide you with food.” You won’t eat it for a day, two days, five days, ten days, or twenty days, but for a month—until you despise it.” “Hey, isn’t that the Atkins diet?” the woman said as she paused and looked up.
2. Bland Diet Food
My sisters and I also struggle with weight and are constantly exchanging diet advice. My older sister was showing us a low-fat cookbook one day when she mentioned a chicken dish she had made the night before. “It appears like it would taste pretty dull,” I said after reading the ingredients.
“It did until I added cheese and sour cream,” she said.
3. Something To Prove
My wife was nagging me to diet despite the fact that I was only a few pounds overweight. We went for a vigorous walk downtown one evening, and I startled her by leapfrogging over a parking meter.
“How many overweight men do you know who can do that?” I asked, pleased with myself.
She retorted, “One.”
4. Secret Switch: Weight Loss Stories
A friend inquired about how I encouraged my spouse to diet after noting how trim he had gotten. “I put our teenage son’s shorts in his underwear drawer,” I confessed at that point.
5. Cake In The Face
My daughter lacked the resolve to shed those extra pounds. “Linda’s so tiny it makes me ill,” she lamented one day as she watched a slim acquaintance walk up our driveway.
“Why don’t you do something about it if it troubles you?” I gently asked.
“That’s a great idea, Mom,” she said. “Hey, Linda,” she said as she turned to face her buddy. “Have a piece of chocolate cake.”
6. Hiding The Evidence
A diet club member complained her lack of willpower. She stated that she had cooked her family’s favorite cake over the weekend and that they had devoured half of it. The uneaten half, on the other hand, beckoned the next day. She snipped a piece for herself. Then there was another, and then another. She knew her husband would be disappointed by the time she’d finished the cake.
One club member inquired, “What did he say when he found out?”
She stated, “He never found out.” “I baked a second cake and ate half of it.”
7. Always Read The Fine Print: Weight Loss Stories
My husband and I began on a diet with specific dishes for each meal of the day since we needed to lose a few pounds. I followed the recipe to the letter, dividing the completed dish in half for each of us. We felt great and thought the diet was fantastic—we were never hungry!
However, when we realized we were gaining weight rather than losing it, I double-checked the recipes. “Serves 6,” it said in small letters.
8. Side Wagers
One evening, when Mother and I were discussing our shared weight problem, I challenged her to a competition. I wouldn’t have to pay her the $6 I owed her if I lost the most weight in the next month. I’d have to pay up if she lost the most weight. Anything for a little extra motivation!
“All right,” Mother answered cheerfully. “However, let us wait two weeks before we begin.” I have a few things I need to eat first.”
9. Easy Weight Loss Stories
I was discussing a weight-loss patch with my doctor that I had seen promoted. It’s said that if you put it on, the pounds would melt away. “Does it work?” says the narrator. I inquired.
He replied, “Sure.” “If you cover your mouth with it.”
10. A few Weight Loss Jokes…..
* Why is there a light in the fridge if we’re not supposed to eat midnight snacks?
* The Garlic Diet: You don’t lose weight; instead, you appear leaner from afar.
* Don’t forget about it. What you eat determines who you are….
I’m going to have to eat a slim person.
* I’m following a seafood-only diet. I consume everything I see.
* Ladies, would you like to lose 5 pounds? Allow your purse to fall to the ground.
* What is your favorite physical activity?
Chewing.
* I wish mosquitoes ate fat instead of blood.
Calories (noun) are tiny critters that live in your closet and stitch your garments a little tighter each night.
* I keep trying to lose weight, but it always finds a way to catch up with me.
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